On June 4th, it had been 3 years, 3 months and 13 days since I've spoken to mom. I had sat in a group reading with a very well know physic, Concetta Bertoldi, but it was a quick reading where – though she did come through – I only had about 90 seconds hearing from her and I didn’t really speak because I was in shock. Many of the things Concetta said during that reading made complete sense, including “Your mother is thanking you for giving her the tea, her lips were dry.” Which, when mom was in hospice, I was giving her, through a straw, sweet tea because her lips were dry.
So fast forward three years... Chris and I arrived at Concetta’s house 45 minutes early, so we drove around the neighborhood. Chris was trying to engage me in a conversation – trying to make me laugh. It wasn’t working. I was making a mental and physical list of the things I wanted to come through. Words that would validate it was mom coming through. People that had passed recently so the names would be fresh in my mind. Songs that make me remember her, the name of her perfume.
You’re so damn cute.
It’s very simple. Just say who you are. Tell them your first and last name.
Can you tell me who Helen is? [She takes another breath and I can’t get a word out. I’m physically speechless. I just shake my head up and down and a steady stream of tears pour from my eyes. Chris is just looking at me because he doesn’t know who Helen can be and why this has me reacting this way]. Can you tell me who… it starts with a “L”. “L-Helen.” I don’t know how to say it.
CONCETTA: Who is Lois?
CONCETTA: Well, they are together. Your mother is telling me to tell you that they are together.
[Last night, Chris went to bed early because he wasn’t feeling good. When I went to bed, the sheets and the duvet had been completed confiscated to his side of the bed, so I walked into the hallway closet and grabbed 'Lois'. She had comforted me once again, but this time just hours before she came to visit.]
She said to tell you…she just telling me about her life. She’s with a lot of people. She wanted me to let you know that she was chosen to speak. They always elect a spokesperson and she was chosen. She’s very happy where she is and tells me to tell you that she no longer suffers. Did she have cancer, dear?
CONCETTA: Whatever she had, she shows me that she had dealings with suffering. She tells me that her body… I’m seeing all of her organs shut down one-by-one. Organs… Shut down. Shut down. Shut down. And whatever it was, she’s happy at where she is because she’s no longer suffering. Whatever from I don’t know.
CONCETTA: [she takes a deep breathe] Marianne, Marleen… I don’t know. She might be talking about… there are a lot of people here so, keep in mind, they might be using you as a messenger. They could be talking about someone who is alive. [I make a mental note that I wanted her to come back to this - she needs to come back to this. I know what she's wanting to say.]
CONCETTA: She talking about when her children were so young, you were so sweet. She showing me images of you. She’s talking about you like you were very skinny and you wouldn’t eat.
She says… [Concetta turns her head up, with her eyes closed and asks Mom A question], “A friend of yours, mam?”
She said to tell you something about William. Who’s William?
[I’m so bad at this game… I shake my head no] It’s Bill. Who is Bill?
She knew you. She knew you, she said. And she has her arms around you and wants you to know that.
What is it? You have to tell me because I’m just not getting it?
And who is Ed? There is someone named Ed there. When you get back, know that your family is a part of this and listen to this and ask your family. [Okay, family reading this... who is Ed? What I have learned is my grandfather, Paul, was also 'Paul E." His middle name is Ed. Not sure if that is the meaning behind this, but it's what I've gotten so far.]
You have things that belong to her that she knows you treasure. And she’s telling me “They’ve saved things of mine, Concetta” she’s said. She’s showing me dishes or kitchen stuff. I’m not understanding it. She telling me your sister took things that belonged to her and she loves that. She loves that your sister is reminded of her. She wants you to tell your sister that she loves her. “Send my love to her” she’s saying.
PAUL: Her sister.
CONCETTA: She has the connection to Bill, or William. She’s acknowledging that. [She’s right. Mom;s sister Carol (deseased) was married to William/Bill] She sends her love.
She wants you to know you have a long life. You’ll be here a long time and you’re very healthy. [So, Chris is going before me… I knew it. And with DOMA being recently struck down, I get full death benefits.]
Things are going very well for you. Are you on the computer a lot of the time? She showing me you on the computer and she blows on your neck. She goes like this to you [dusting off her shoulder, and touching her neck]. She tries very hard to get your attention and to show you signs to let you know that she’s with you. And that she surrounds you. She has brought butterflies and it’s not your imagination. She now that she’s said it, you will start seeing it. It’s that, or something with wings. She showing something and just know that it’s not a coincidence.
She used to like to make you something to eat, if you wanted something, when she could do it. What do you want? At the end of her life everything started to shut down. Not everybody was there. Who wasn’t there? Who was missing? [Her sister Lisa came down after the fact, while her other two sisters, Carol and Paulette lived local] I know she’s telling me, “don’t worry”, she just wants them to know – I didn’t want anyone to be hurt by my leaving.
She was very grateful to be let go. [Simone, Chris and I all had seperate conversations with her - against our fathers wishes, letting her know it was okay for her to go. That she didn’t need to suffer anymore]
Very grateful and more grateful to know that she didn’t die and that she walked into this amazing light, surrounded by so many. And that every time someone comes home, there is an amazing homecoming. And they take them in.
You are very popular at work. I don’t know what you do, but you have a lot of friends and tons of people respect you. She shows me that you are very loved by those that surround you. You have a great network. She says that. Your friends… your co-workers… what have you. She’s showing me very large groups. You travel around and people know your name and the welcome you in. [I do… I travel to our Walks or Events, where there can be anywhere from 1,000 or 30,000 individuals, and I’m announced from the stage before I speak to all of our participants]
PAUL: [eeking out a single word] One.
Your daughter is a mix between the two of you. They show her to be really cute and, just a mix. She has your personality traits and yours. [Concetta starts laughing] They show her much like this [Showing us her crossed fingers] How old is she?
CONCETTA: Yeah… they show her like this. And if you forgive me, a little spoiled.
You mother is saying that. “when you need me, just call me, I’ll be there. It’s not a coincidence, it’s the truth.” And she’s asking you to send her love to everyone. She’s getting lower, dear. Please ask me any questions that you may have.
PAUL: The last time we had a group reading, she mentioned something about a fruit bowl. We’ve tried to figure out what she was saying, and we have no clue.
CONCETTA: She’s actually laughing… She has a sense of humor. She’s laughing as I ask her, “What about the fruit bowl?” It’s a fruit bowl. I don’t know… all I know is she’s saying that you have things that belong to her and she loves being in your home.
She’s showing me photographs of her in your house… She’s showing me things that you use every day. Stuff. Something in the kitchen. Do you have dishes of hers? She’s showing my cutlery. She’s showing me the kitchen.
PAUL: Her urn is in the kitchen. On the counter next to the knives.
CONCETTA: What is it that he has, dear? She’s showing me little do-dads… little tchotchkes. From the kitchen. Do you have any of those things? She’s showing me these things… you may not have them, but you loved them. She’s want me to mention these. Honey, I’m seeing these little things in the kitchen. And then she’s showing me photographs. So, it has to be something with the small do-dads. [I wasn’t getting it, but once I got back in the car, I looked at my list that I wrote and I felt like a complete idiot. I wrote, “Tobasco”. I used this word for validation. Mom had literally hundreds of different tobasco bottles decorating the kitchen, as well as tobacco pot-holders, salt and pepper shakers, pictures and other ‘do-dads and tchotchkes”. She also used this as her password for some of her email accounts. I was looking for Concetta to use the word “Tobasco” and not what they actually were]
I know she’s talking to your daughter. You daughter knows her. She is talking with her. She has conversations with her. And you daughter is being protected by her. She loves that little girl. That’s sweet. That’s so sweet. I’m so happy for you.
Is your daughter, I’m just curious, is she a mixed race? But she’s white.
CHRIS: Blonde hair, blue eyes.
CONCETTA: Oh Maron. You’re going to have your hands full in the future [referencing that she too is blonde and blue eyed] They show her to be just like you and just like you… a mix. That’s why I’m asking if she’s mixed raced. Your mother is showing me you and you. She has so many things. So many expressions on her face. Your mom is mentioning it. She’s just really fun. Your mother is talking about it and in love with her. [Mom was/is one of her biggest fans. She loved Kensington so much and was just so elated every time I would update the blog and add additional pictures. She got the biggest kick when we would be in the store together and a stranger would walk up to us and say, “Oh she’s so cute” and seeing that she had blond hair and blue eyes, and we didn’t, they would say, “She must look just like her mommy.” Her response would be, “she looks just like her daddies.”]
Your daughter has pointed at her and tried to tell you that she’s there. It’s not your imagination. Whatever it is, your mother is telling you that she’s not dead. She’s in the air that you breathe. She’s in the AIR. A.I.R. Always In Reach. And she’s very grateful for the way that you love her and remember her. There you go. I hope this was good for you. You are so welcomed. You both – because of the way that she is saying it – are good people. They are telling me, with huge kind of applause, what type of men you are. They are proud of this. They are all very proud of this, not just your mother. The energy around you guys is nothing but beautiful. Have a good time in Florida.
And there it is. A half-hour frozen in time. Concetta was right, it goes quickly. I can say that I now have a new sense... it's almost like relief or peace. I look at things a different way now. Do I still miss her? Like crazy. But now I have a new purpose... to write down all my questions for my next appointmnet. Unfortunately, Concetta is a very busy woman. Her next opening is in 2019.