Thursday, December 20, 2012

All I Want For Christmas Is...

I recently sat down with HRH to conduct a holiday interview. The Royal Office of Protocol informed me that some questions where off the table, some for security reasons, others were to protect her privacy, and others because she is under contract with Watch! Magazine and certain questions will be released in her follow-up interview next month (see December’s Issue, page 125, for her first article).

What’s your name? Kensington Irwin-Dudek, Princess Grace

Princess Grace, huh? Who is your favorite Princess? The Pink One. [Aurora, aka Sleeping Beauty]

How old are you? 4. Right now? Yes, right now [okay… her birthday celebration that started the week after Thanksgiving kind of threw her off]

What’s your favorite color? Pink. Any particular shade? Light Pink. Next question, please. [I've been trying to get her to say "Blush and Bashful", one of my favorite lines Shelby says in Steel Magnolias. It's not working. One day. I can just feel it. One day she will surprise me with this.]

What’s your favorite food? Honey Smacks cereal. [and we can attest to that. She would eat this three times a day if we would let her. Actually, one day when I was sick and Chris was on a business trip, I did let her eat this all day. By dinner time, I felt so ill, I told her she could make it herself. That was a big mistake.]

What is your favorite toy? Legos.

What is your favorite movie? ParaNorman. Remember, we saw it three times. [Yes, but we saw Brave 4 times in the theater and too many times to count at home. Please let this be a sign she’s starting to grow out of the Princess phase.]

What do you want to be when you grow up? ParaNorman.
Kensi, pay attention. What do you want to be when you grow up? What did you say?
What do you want to be when you grow up? I want to work.
What kind of work? I take it back. I don’t want to work. You and Daddy can work for me. Can I watch ParaNorman now?

Have you been Naughty or Nice this year? {evil smile} Nice… but I have been a little naughty at school. Don’t tell the Elf! [Elfie is our Elf on the Shelf. We need him to stay around throughout the year. He puts the fear of God into her.He's better than the "Time Out" chair]

What did you tell Santa you wanted for Christmas? A pink bicycle with a pink basket for my baby doll and a pink baby seat in the back. Oh, and white Princess slippers.

Telling Santa that she has been good,
and then holding a 3 minute
conversation with him where
he just listened to her.
Side Story**** When we were at Disney one day, I was walking her through the park on my shoulders. She leaned down and whispered in my ear, “I want pissed."  I quickly took her off my shoulders, shocked at her choice of words and worried that she was going to go to the bathroom on herslef, I found the closest bathroom. She sat on the toilet and told me she didn’t have to go. I made her try her darnest because she just told me she needed to go. To no avail, we left and started walking again. She looked up at me and said, “Papa, I want to piss.” Asking her if she’s serious or playing she said she was serious. I took her the bathroom again. She told me she didn’t need to go, and I started to get frustrated. “Kensi, you just told me you needed to Pee. I need you to go, now!”

“Papa, I didn’t say I needed to go pee.”

“Yes, Kensi. You did. You actually said it in a way that Papa would prefer you not to say it.”

“No I didn’t.”

“Kensi, you said you needed to go piss. Now go, please.”

“Papa. I want my ears pissed. So I can have pretty pink earrings like the princess."

Needless to say, we covered ourselves by letting her know she never told Santa that when they talked. We took additional measures to let the Elfie know one time when she was acting up that he needed to let Santa know. She, of course, cried. We told her she needed to be good all year next year and then maybe, just maybe, Santa will bring her a pair. Now we just need to hope she forgets this conversation. That, or she learned how to say 'pierced'.

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