Marriage for Some is a new documentary that explores the difficult and often painful predicament of same-sex partners who are prevented from legalizing their union by civil law. It's being produced by Daedalus Productions, a not-for-profit film and television production company, to advance the cause of same-sex marriage equality.

I'm sure many of you would love to see this film, but they still need to raise some money to complete it. Hence this post... it's to help make people aware of their new website, www.marriageforsome.org, where you can learn more about the movie and the individuals involved with the production as well as make a tax-deductible donation.

We all know that that times are tough right now for almost everyone, but if you do have a few dollars to spare, I'm sure they would greatly appreciate it. And if you're independently wealthy and have always dreamed of becoming involved with a worthy film project, here's a great opportunity.

Helping Dads Navigate Strange Territories

Parenting in the 21^st century is challenging and confusing for most parents. Families look and are different than years ago. More and more gay and lesbian couples are adopting or using surrogacy as a means of building families. Gay and straight dads are raising kids more and more and more (SAHD/SAD's - Stay at home dads), and more are the primary caregivers. We have to parent differently now.

What values do we want to pass on?

What do we want to teach our kids?

What kind of people do we want them to be?

Dads need to provide an environment for their children that is nurturing and loving with clear expectations and consequences that teach but do not shame. A Parent Coach can help with these challenges.

Here are the 10 of the most Frequently Asked Questions of a parenting coach.
By Susan P. Epstein, LCSW, Parent Coach

1. Question: What are some key reasons that a dad would seek out a Parent Coach’s help?

Answer: You have a child with difficult behavior (lack of respect, anger, back-talk, interrupting, tantrums, etc), or who is acting out or not doing well in school. Also if you are going through: divorce, remarriage, blending a family, trauma or loss, teen alcohol or drug use, or if you want to improve family communication, balance or support.

2. Question: What should I look for in a Parent Coach?

Answer: An expert in the areas of child development and family dynamics. They should be non-judgemental, good at building rapport, creative (they tailor plans to your family’s needs), patient, and a good teacher and mentor.

3. Question: What if I have already read parenting books and taken my child to a therapist and I am still struggling?

Answer: That’s okay and it means that you are searching for answers. Parent coaching can help because the coach works with you to tailor a parenting plan for your family.

4. Question: I have a special needs child and/or my child has been diagnosed with ADD/ADHD, Conduct Disorder or Bipolar Disorder. Can a parent coach help us?

Answer: Absolutely, most children/teens will respond to a behavioral plan if the plan is designed for their developmental stage and age.

5. Question: Is waiting until your child is a teenager too late to change their behavioral patterns?

Answer: It is best to start as early as possible. But, even if they are 16 or 17 years old you can still turn that behavior around fairly quickly with the right plan.

6. Question: What is the biggest challenge that dads face in today’s world?

Answer: That has to be a combination of disrespect from their children and parent guilt. They go hand in hand. “If I discipline my child for being inappropriate he won’t like me but then I feel guilty because I know that I am not setting limits and this isn’t good for him.” A dad may feel guilty because he is stretched thin and overwhelmed. This is especially difficult with divorce where the kids are going back and forth between two homes. If dad doesn’t want to be “the bad guy” he might let behaviors go that need to be addressed.

7. Question: What are some of the biggest fears that dads have?

Answer: Dads believe that if they yell and scream at their kids that they will damage their children for life. They are also told that if they spank their kids that Child Protection Services will be knocking on the door. Some dads are afraid to utilize their power and feel as if their hands are tied and they don’t know what to do.

8. Question: How does parent coaching take place?

Answer: Weekly parent telephone sessions and email, group parent telephone sessions, in-home sessions, and coaching products like books, DVDs and audio CDs.

9. Question: What if I am interested in hiring a parent coach but not sure?

Answer: Most parent coaches will provide a free consultation to see if you can work together.

10. Question: How long would I work with my parent coach and what are the costs?

Answer: Every coach has their own recommendations based on the family situation. Minimum is usually 3 months up until 12 months. Sometimes after a period of time weekly calls aren’t as necessary and the appointments can be shorter and less frequent.

Susan P. Epstein, LCSW, Parent Coach, is an expert in the areas of family dynamics, parenting and child development. Susan will uncover and unleash your parenting power. Visit her site at www.ParentingPowers.com

Today I Watched You Sleeping...

Sitting beside you, I watched our angel sleep.

Legs crossed, tiny toes flickering... one arm stretched out. Your fingers signing out your dreams.

Little rump in the air, shaking like a puppy in a pet shop window.

Whisper sounds escaping from your plump lips, back lifting with each breath you take.

Our Love. Our Joy. Sweet Dreams...

Need a Lift?

Just one more reason to keep shopping at Ikea!

Thanks to Dana Rudolph over at The Bilerico Project who post this actual photo from the IKEA in Stoughton, Massachusetts (Slight color correction, but otherwise not PhotoShopped.)

There was, in fact, another elevator next to it with a man, woman (stick figure in a dress) and a child.

The only thing that could have made this better is having one of the men holding furniture assembly instructions with the other figure having a question mark above his head. For those of you you've ever put Ikea furniture together, you know far to well what I'm talking about :)

Independence Day

Here are a few pictures from yesterdays celebration. Later on in the week, I'll upload the videos that show Kensington playing with her new friend, Oscar (the French Bulldog). Enjoy!

(and yes... she has learned to pose for the camera. We're raising a lil diva)

Protect those precious little baby legs!

BabyLegs has grown from one mom’s diaper bag essential to an essential product for all. They began as a solution to keep little legs warm, and now the uses are endless!

Now that our little chickpea is mobile, we needed something to kept her knees protected while crawling, and provided sun protection when we go outside on the back deck. These kneecap savers, which we found at Cinderella's Closet, were the perfect fit. After looking up the company online, we noticed that tons of places around the country offer these. You can find a retailer close to you by clicking here. Kensington loves her rainbow BabyLegs... and they go fabulously with her rainbow onesies that we found at Gymboree.

American Traditions

There is only one thing that I know of that is more American than Apple pie, hot dogs, baseball and Chevy trucks (before the company filed chapter 11), and that's the IGRA. That's right. The International Gay Rodeo Association. This year, Kensington Grace is trying to buck the system by becoming the youngest Grand Marshall in Gay Rodeo history. While she doesn't technically meet the qualifications, that's not stopping us. We know that her press packet is sure to win the committee members hearts (that, and the online petition that has started will surely do the trick). If not, I'm pretty certain that they will be creating a new category in her honor.

For those of you that have never attended a gay rodeo event, there are several still left in the season before the finals in Albuquerque, New Mexico this October. We'll be trying to make the Philly competition at the end of this month... and our little cowgirl will be obtaining additional signatures to ensure that she get's the crown (and the buckle).


Special thanks to Uncle Mark, Aunie Aggie and her cousin Mason for the cowgirl dress. We're off to practice our Team Roping skills. Moo Moo by little buckaroo!

Into The Woods...

Once upon a time, in the same far-off kingdom that was filled with blueberries that had been previously picked, there was a princess (along with a couple Kings, a tire old Queen, and a Countess) who enjoyed a stroll down a murky trail into the Witch's garden, looking for a few beans. All they found was poison oak (or was it ivy? It was the three spiky-leaf one), a goat and a road less traveled. In the end... they were greeted with apple cider doughnuts, hot dogs, blueberry loaf, and the oddest looking chickens (that should have been on a skewer).

I've Got a Golden Ticket

When Kensington heard that there may be a possible "Willy Wonka the Musial" joining the Great White Way, she started vocal lessons immediately to prepare for the role of a lifetime... Violet Beauregarde. Her publicist, yours truly, already started the marketing campaign to ensure that she's the front runner in the competition. For those of you not familiar with the role of Violet (let me start off by saying 'shame on you'), in the book, Charlie and the Chocolate Factory, Willy Wonka invents a gum that is a three-course dinner: tomato soup, roast beef and blueberry pie, all of which Kensi has been eating nonstop to mentally prepare herself. Wonka warns Violet not to chew it, but she argues that she holds the world record in chewing gum and begins chewing it anyway. She claims it is amazing, but when it reaches the blueberry pie her face begins to turn blue. Soon her entire body turns blue, before expanding like a balloon being blown up and then becoming similar to a large blue ball. Willy tells the Oompa Loompas to roll her to the juicing room to be squeezed of the blueberry juice that had built up inside her. Again... the perfect role of our lil diva.

In order to get into character for her audition, Kensington decided to do some in-depth research, so with auntie Cathy and Uncle Kyle, she headed to Princeton to a Blueberry Festival this past weekend.

We were extremely disappointed upon our arrival to find out that Kensington didn't meet the age requirement to pick blueberries... which wasn't terribly that bad as all of the blueberries were picked the day before from the crowd that attended on Saturday. But we were able to see them in little wooden containers in the store. The sad news is, as we were getting out of the car, Aunt Cathy clearly stated that nobody in the vehicle would be to purchasing blueberries from the festival - - she just went to Costco and bought several pecks. That is what I call a blueberry buzz kill!

So, we ventured off to visit the horses and the goats, along with the geese and the chickens. While only 6 months old, she did enjoy petting the animals and took hold of what, thank God, turned out to be the most mild-tempered farm cat we've ever seen. She grabbed her by both hands and clamped down for her life. She wouldn't left go. When we were finally able to release her grasp, two huge tuffs of hair came with her [note to self... keep Kensington away from Gossip for the next coupe of years].

As you can see from the pictures, Kensi still has a revulsion for socks. It's something we're working through (at $20 per copay for the counseling sessions).




















If she doesn't get the part, hopefully she can at least play the third Oompa Loompa from the left. It's still worthy of SAG points.

A look back...

Wow... our little girl is growing up right before our very eyes.

Doug @ Daddy's Tired

It's Daddies. Plural. would like to thank all of our new followers for joining, as well as our dedicated followers for participating in our first blog give-a-way. We're very pleased to announce that Doug @ Daddy's Tired is the winner! His site is a diversion from all the excitement at home. It's a place for him to vent, offer suggestions, links and other worldly parenting advice from a guy whose been a parent for a very short time. Don't worry, we claims to have all the answers you need! Doug is also a columnist at Dad-Blogs.

We're looking forward to our next give-a-way and hope you are as well.

Our first give-a-way...

The stacks of unread magazines and unsolicited catalogs continue to grow, and grow. They're piled up next to the garage door, ready to be taken to the recycling center (which will hopefully be something Chris takes on, because I have ZERO urge to do so).

Every so often, I will walk by and a teaser on the cover will catch my attention and actually make me pick it up (so to the cover illustrators / editors... you're doing something right!).

One catalog that intrigued me is One Step Ahead [link], which is filled with innovative baby & toddler products that I haven't seen anywhere before (honest - this is not a paid advertisement, nor was I solicited by them to create a post about their products or website). Whether you're looking for designer crib bedding or baby slings, carriers, or teething aids, you'll find them here at One Step Ahead, along with a great selection of educational toys.

Having an adorable daughter with a unique (and notable) name, it is impossible to find items that has her name on it, but this company can personalize items that end up looking divine: from toy boxes to canvas bookshelves, puzzle stools to travel beds.

In addition to the personalized products, they have items that I've never seen before, such as these garment extenders. Kensington, having been given so many cute outfits, is outgrowing items that she's only worn once or twice. What a SHAME!!! These will help s-t-r-e-t-c-h the lifespan of her one-piece outfits! What will they think of next? This garment extender set not only works with Carter's and Onesies, but GAP, Old Navy, and many other popular brands.

Because I'm so excited about this product, as well a new site to do tons of shopping at, we're giving away a $20 e-Gift card to One Step Ahead... and because we love our readers all so much, we're making it easy to enter with multiple ways to win.

Receive one entry when you comment on this post. Bloggers and non-bloggers may enter. If you don’t want to leave your email address, please be sure to check back for my announcement on the winner. Comments/contest will close on June 30, 2009 at 8 PM EST. One comment per person, please (unless you do the extra credit)

Extra Credit:

2 entries if you become a new Follower to It's Daddies. Plural. on blogspot (see the "these people are the best followers ever..." section on the right side of this page and hit "follow")

1 entry if you are one of the amazing 51 people that are "following" us currently on blogger. Just state that you're a follower in your comment.

2 entries if you blog about this giveaway on your own blog. It doesn’t have to be a separate post. Just include a link to your post when you leave a comment. If others visit our site and give your blog credit, you get an additional entry.

The winner will be chosen by Random.org.

We hope you enjoy this give-a-way.

Happy Fathers Day!

Today is THE day. Our very first Father's Day as, well... you know - fathers.

On Thursday we received our first Father's Day card from the Carnevali-Oliver family. It was addressed to "Popi's Plural" :) Thank God I took two years of Spanish and could tell that the front said "A joyful wish on Father's Day".
Okay.
I'll be honest.
Two years of Spanish and I can only say, "My name is.." and "the bathroom". You really can't do much in life with 'my name is the bathroom' (which, by the way is, 'mi nombre es el cuarto de baño'), trust me - I've tried :(

There was translation on the back :)


On Friday, we received the cutest "First Father's Day" card from Mary Cay and the M2 clan.

So, with multiple cards received, I still forgot to send Fazha the card I bought for him last week. And its not like I forgot I bought it or thought it went in the post when it didn't... I saw it 4 times each day as it was in my laptop bag. So every time I took my computer out and put it back it, it was staring back at me, and each time I thought, I'll get to this in just a minute. My only excuse is that I know have "daddy brain" and can still use the 'sleep deprivation' card. Are you buying this, Fazha? I hope so!

On Friday, Kensington's school did the sweetest thing - they had Kensi make two Father's day paintings/cards for us. One for "Daddy" and one for "Papa". Mine said, "Papa, I love you - for all that you do. I'll kiss you and hug you 'cause you love me too. You feed me and need me to teach you to play. So smile 'cause I love you on this Father's day.

And, she happened to give us the BEST gift ever this weekend. We can't tell you what it is... but you can see for yourself.

"You are never given power...you have to take it" -- Harvey Milk

We just signed up for the National Equality March in DC this October. On October 10-11, we'll march on the National Mall with one simple demand: Full equality for Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgendered people in all matters governed by civil law. In all 50 states. Now.

We will march. And we will leave energized and empowered to do the work that needs to be done in every community across the nation.

http://nationalequalitymarch.com

This is different from any of our previous marches. This march is part of a sustained campaign of people acting locally to make national change. It will take committed activists in every one of the 435 Congressional Districts to make that happen. And we have to begin before October.

Soon we'll begin meeting with our Senators and Representatives across the country to demand change. Join me, and invite all your friends:

http://nationalequalitymarch.com

An early 'Happy Father's Day' two new gay dads in Germany!

Happy Fathers Day to a gay penguin couple in Germany's Bremerhaven Zoo.

This cute couple has been fostering a chick given to them by zoo handlers, after the egg was rejected several times by its biological parents.

The new gay dads are one of three same-sex couples in a colony of twenty at the zoo. Scientists originally tried to split-up the couple to encourage breeding, but the they continued to come back to each other.

Since hatching a few days ago, the chick is thriving! Congrats... and welcome to the world of gay parenthood!

Meet Melanie & Matt

Over the past six months, we have received many inspiring notes and emails from a wonderful mix of individuals: friends & family members, new and 'seasoned' adoptive parents, expecting parents, birth moms/parents that have placed a child up for adoption, as well as women who are pregnant and wondering if choosing adoption is right for them. Please know that while we may not have the opportunity to answer all of them in a timely fashion, we do read them and talk about them together - and each one of them touches us. Many make us laugh... some make us cry... and some make us laugh and cry. All of them make us thankful for what we have, and thankful that we have so many caring people in our lives.

With that being said, we realized that we have a wonderful venue to share stories, memories and opportunities with our followers, as well as those doing searches on the web.

If I've said it once, I've said it a hundred times. I believe everything happens for a reason. the good. the bad. the indifferent. It may take me weeks - months - even years to realize it, but there is a plan in place (and even if I don't agree with it 'in the moment'), and everything works out in the end.

I feel very strongly that we made the perfect choice when choosing Creative & Sons to create our adoption portfolio / adoption profile. Adam did such a wonderful job showing the true sides of "Paul & Chris" and through the process of creating it, a great friendship has formed. Adam shared with me his latest adoption portfolio/profile, and I would like to introduce to you, Melanie & Matt. This cute couple have been together for eight years and would like to start a family.

As I've heard from many of the adoptive parents out there, word of mouth is the key in finding the right placement. Chris and I were lucky enough to find a wonderful agency, Friends In Adoption, that helped us in finding S&S, our bio parents. While Melanie & Matt are using a different venue (being from Charleston, SC), I wanted to share with you their story in hopes of making their journey to a match a short one. To learn more about them, you can visit www.wishforfamily.com

All eyes on me!

Kensington is learning how to crawl... well, actually, she's getting up on her knees, rocking back and forth, and then leaping for her life. I've been trying to get this on film (is it still considered that if it's digital?) but every time I grab the camera she stops and poses. I wonder where she gets this from (umm... maybe her pappa!) It's the funniest thing ever. It's like she can sense the camera being pointed in her direction.

[I think we've created a monster]

I was able to take a couple video clips by having the camera rest on the couch and not having it in my hands, but by then, she'd already given up on her crawling activities.

NOH8 campaign

Fall Out Boy bassist Pete Wentz and his wife Ashlee Simpson Wentz have posed for a portrait for California's NOH8 campaign, which seeks to overturn the state's ban on gay marriage.

In the portrait, Ashlee holds a wedding veil and the couple appear with duct tape over their mouths to symbolize the silencing of the gay community's voices on the matter.

The couple have been outspoken supporters of over turning Prop 8, which bans gay marriage in CA. They also took part in a protest in Hollywood last month when the California Supreme Court upheld the ban on same-sex marriage.

Be Aggressive! B-E Aggressive!

The chants and screams of a cheerleadering squad are among the most treasured (ummm... vomit-inducing) sounds of our high school years. With pom-pom shoe laces, extremely short skirts & bloomers, tight ponytails that cut off the blood circulation to the brain and a frighteningly high degree of pep, the four most awkward years of our lives just wouldn’t have been the same (less mentally scarring) without the glory (horror) that was our pep squads. And yet... I find myself in the dawn of parenthood with my hand in "blade formation" (okay... I'm a gay dad, and I have five nieces - forgive me for knowing the terminology), chanting "Be Aggressive! B-E Aggressive!" when it's feeding time.

From the moment we left the hospital with our little chickpea, feeding time has always been a hurried experience. Meaning... Kensington is a very aggressive eater. Each time she takes a bottle, it's like it's the very first time she has eaten, and she can drink anyone under the table. The pediatrician has told us that we have nothing to worry about, she's eating plenty and we're not starving her... she's just 'aggressive'. When we picked her up from school on her first day, the teachers told us, with smiles and a look of sheer puzzlement, that she was an 'aggressive' eater. In earlier post I've mentioned that after they feed her, they have to either put her down for a nap or place her across the room for an activity so she doesn't see the other kids bottles, but she wants it - and is very vocal about her needs.

We've read numerous articles that talk about transitioning a baby from formula to solid foods, and how it could take anywhere from 4-12 times before it becomes a desired taste. Ummm... not for our child. If it's on a spoon or in a bottle, she'll eat it! From rice cereal to oatmeal, sweet potatoes to green beans, our little Kensington wants it. And she wants it NOW.

Yesterday I had her in her Baby Bjorn and I ended up getting a bottled coke from a vending machine. Now that she's able to reach out and hold her own bottle, she's reaching for mine. When I didn't want to give it to her, she loudly informed me that my bottle was HER bottle. I ended up handing over the closed bottle to her so she could hold it up to her mouth in order to calm her down.



Please excuse her little bedhead :)

Dad of Invention

When Jim Whitney's daughters were ages 3 and 5, this Toronto dad found himself watching his kids play and wondering why there wasn't a toy that could be assembled and reconfigured in different life-size shapes. "I wanted something that could be a cave today, a pirate ship tomorrow, and a castle the next," he says. "Oh, and you'd be able to drape sheets over it for hiding." Voila! The Crazy Fort was born. Check them out at www.crazyforts.com or go directly to Barnes&Noble to buy the product here.

Children of all ages love building fun structures where they can play endlessly in their imaginary worlds. And Crazy Forts makes play so easy and so fun. Simply connect the balls and sticks and cover the structure with bed sheets to create places where imaginations flourish.

Help Block Out Skin Cancer

A little sunshine is a good thing, but your little one can easily get too many rays. A baby's skin is 10 times more sensitive to the environment.... and those under the age of 6 months should never be exposed to the sun.

With a thinner skin and a developing natural protection system, a baby's skin needs special protection from the sun and irritating chemicals.

While flipping through "American Baby", I saw a wonderful ad with my two favorite brands - Johnson & Johnson and the American Cancer Society. Johnson & Johnson's Neutrogena has come out with a Pure & Free Baby Sunblock stick. I can't tell you how excited I am about this (I know, I know... I'm a little geeky). This product has no irritating chemicals, is fragrance free, hypoallergenic, won't sting eyes and has no dyes and oils. Perfect for our little Kensington!

Skin cancer is a very real issue, and melanoma is deadly. One blistering sunburn in childhood or adolescence more than doubles a person's chances of developing melanoma later in life. Sun exposure is the leading cause of skin cancer, and one that is relatively easy to prevent. You should learn the signs, visit your dermatologist to check for skin cancers, and be vigilant about using sunscreens such as this one. Actually, you can visit the American Academy of Dermatology here and find a free screening in your area.

To find out more information about skin cancer, prevention and detection, contact 1.800.227.2345 or visit http://www.cancer.org/

The American Cancer Society (ACS) and Neutrogena, working together to help prevent skin cancer, support the use of sunscreen.

One step forward... two steps back.

Chris and I have been cracking up lately. Kensington is trying to crawl, but she is stuck in reverse. That's right, reverse. She'll flop on her stomach, and stretch her little arms out to grab something, but will get further and further away from it the more she wants it. But, the little devil, is getting smart. She'll roll herself around and crawl backwards in the direction that she was originally going for. Now, that's what I call genius!

Dad Who Goes the Distance

There's a lot that 7-year-old Mary McAuley, of Hendersonville, Tennessee, can't do. Born with cerebral palsy and suffering from epilepsy, she's confined to a wheelchair, can't speak, and needs a feeding tube to eat. But her dad, Tommy McAuley, has helped her achieve awesome physical feats.

They are a father-daughter triathlon team. McAuley pushes Mary in a special stroller for most of his runs, pulls her along in a trailer when he bikes, and tugs his child in an inflatable raft as he's swimming. T.E.A.M. McAuley (older brothers, Grant, 11, and Griffin, 9, are members too) raises money and awareness for other families with special needs to get equipment to participate in triathlons. The biggest reason for racing is Mary. "She loves the feeling of not being disabled, spending time with her family, and the wind blowing through her hair," says McAuley. How can he know this about a child who can't speak? "If you saw her contagious smile, you'd have no doubt," explains this proud dad.