6:02 a.m. Kensington cries and the monitor goes off. I roll over and nudge Duncan, "Dunc... wake up. Kensi loves you." 30 seconds later I do it again. "Dunc... come on, buddy. Kensi loves you."
Normally when I do this to Chris, he gets up and makes a bottle and goes in and feeds her. Duncan was having nothing to do with it (Come on... if he can open a locked door one would think that he would be able to make a bottle - it wasn't like I was asking him to heat it up or something).
So I roll myself out of bed, wipe the sleep away from my eyes and grab my robe that is hanging off of the Bowflex machine. I stumble down stairs and am faced with multiple competing priorities:
1) Kensington crying and needing her bottle right this very moment.
2) A very, very full bladder.
3) Duncan now jumping up at the front door... with his very, very full bladder.
4) Gossip on her perch meowing like crazy because she needs food (and she's telling me she needs it more than Kensington does).
5) Matt, Meredith, Al, Ann and Hoda staring at me. They too are hungry. I'm talking about the fish in the aquarium... not my fab 5 on NBC. We did have a Kathie Lee, but she got annoying in the tank so all of the others attacked her and killed her. I'm still waiting for this to happen on The Today Show as well. I swear it would sky rocket their ratings. Trust.
So I flash to my personal hero, Captain Chesley Burnett "Sully" Sullenberger III, and wondered what would he do? Well... he would listen to his flight crew and they would tell their passengers that in case of an emergency, parents need to put their oxygen mask on before they help their child with theirs. I know this sounds cruel... but if you are helping your child with their mask and you loose consciousness, you both suffer. To bring this back to my scenario... if I'm feeding her (which takes 30 minutes) and wet myself - we both loose.
So, I rush to the powder room. Since I'm already next to the door, I open it and let Duncan run out to do his business. Then it's off to the kitchen. While the bottle is warming, I silence Miss Gossip by loading up her bowls with food and water and then tend to the Fab 5 (I see the little floating tombstone and think, "Rest in peace Kathie Lee"). The bottle buzzer goes off, I shut the door now that Dunc is back inside and I rush upstairs to see Kensington, a.k.a. Baby Houdini, has unchained - i mean, unwrapped - herself from her swaddle and her arms are waving up in the air like she spent a summer at the Jerry Falwell's "Bible Boot Camp" for young evangelicals. I show her her bottle... Hallelujah it is.
I wanted to share with you all the gift that Auntie Carmen gave Kensington for Valentine's Day. He personalized a How To Hug A Porcupine piece that is now hanging in her nursery. Kensi loves her porcupine... and loves her Auntie Carmen more.