Wednesday, January 28, 2009

Feed me, Seymour...

Feed me all night long'... Cause if you feed me, Seymour - I can grow up big and strong!

Kensi is now eating more, (okay... more like drinking) and more each day. Way To Go! Chris and I received an Enfamil "Mastering Mealtime" book in the mail yesterday that stated a newborn, average weight of 7lbs at birth, should be eating 2-3 oz every 2-3 hours. Trust me when I say I think she knows it, too. She's eating on average, 4 oz at a time (which, we've checked with her Dr. and he say's it's perfectly fine).

Chris and I will be switching Kensi from Similac, back to Enfamil LIPIL, based on the doctors recommendation. She takes both formulas well, but with Similac, our little chickpea is the gassiest little thing ever (which we were told is one of the side effects of Similac). We decided that it would be better for the environment if less gas were released into the ozone, so as soon as the container of Similac is done, the switch will be made.

While we're on the topic of what's good for the environment, I'd like to make a plea to President Obama. I know on your Agenda page, it lays out your civil rights agenda, which includes broad support for the LGBT community, including the expansion of Adoption Rights. I've already given you Kudo's for that and will again, once more. But... here's the thing. You need to offer the "Gays" a large tax incentive to adopt, which will in turn, will help the environment. Stay with me on this one and I'll explain.

We've had Kensington for over a month now, and Chris and I have both lessened our carbon-footprint on the earth. According to Water Wasters & Pollution, the average person WASTE an average of 1 gallon of water every time they brush their teeth. We don't have time to brush our teeth any more, so we... in one month, have saved over 120 gallons of water. The same site concludes that you waste 2 gallons of water every minute in the shower. The gays like to be clean and on average would take at minimum, a 15 minute shower to clean and groom, every morning before work (It's so much easier for me to shave in the shower than standing at the sink. The steam softens the hairs and causes less cuts). 60 Gallons of water a day, per gay household, times 6 times a week (on the 7th day, we rest) is 360 gallons of water. Take into account that on Friday nights, you take an additional shower pre-club and you save on average 1680 per month.

The average toilet flush is 5 gallons of water. Seeing that I don't stop at Dunkin Donuts twice a day for an extra large coffee, I don't get a diet coke at our 9:45a.m. grease truck drive by, I'm not eating out at lunch and I don't stop to get my extra large Sweet Tea from McD's, I only need to use the bathroom 3 times a day versus my pre-Kensi 7 times a day. That's 140 gallons saved per week, 560 gallons per month. If you're adding along with me Barack, so far this household alone has saved 2240 gallons since Christmas.

The gays like to have a clean car, and on average, run our vehicles through the touch less car wash 45 times a year (this accounts for more in the winter with the salt and snow, and less in the summer time when it's parked in a lot when we're all hanging out on Fire Island or P'Town). So... 150 gallons of water times 2 cars, times 45 washes is 13,500 gallons a year / 1125 gallons a month. Chris and I have, to date, saved 3365 gallons of water (and will save 40,380 gallons in a year)
Gas... being that I'm on leave until April, I haven't used much gas, but have saved TONS. I work 69 miles from home, and drive a Dodge Nitro that gets 23 miles to the gallon, so I go through 6 gallons a day of gas just round trip, 30 gallons a week, 120 gallons a month. Now... with my job, I travel throughout the division, and on average, would have a $300 mileage reimbursement a month (576 miles of travel). That's an additional 25 gallons of gas a month, bringing my total to 145 gallons of gas saved per month, 435 gallons of gas saved while on leave.

Cleaners. Let's just say we haven't used any cleaners in a month. No Ajax, Windex, Draino, tile cleaner, toilet scrubby stuff, 409, etc. I don't know how to formulate how much this has saved the environment, but I know it has. Trust.

Chris and I have not visited Brooks Brothers, Armani, Banana, AX, Calvin Klein, Diesel, etc... in over a month. Due to our lack of investments in them, I'm sure we've put one child labourer in a third world country out of a job... and if more gays adopt, factories across the globe that have little or no environmental regulation would have to shut down, exposing us to less harmful fumes.

It is estimated that approximately ten percent of the U.S. population or 25 million people are homosexual. Of that, lets say 1/2 are men - so we have 12.5 million gay and out men in the US.

Of that 12.5 million "out" number, 7 million are between the ages of 27-42, the range that most people in the US now adopt or have children. Of that 7 million, there would be, roughly 2 million gay couples that have been in a relationship over 12 months and thus would even consider having children. If those 2 million gay couples adopted a baby, in the US, we would save 80,000,000,000 gallons of water a year and up to 870,000,000 gallons of gas JUST while on paternity leave. I think a huge tax-credit is needed to save the environment! whatcha think'n, Barack? Enquiring minds wanna know.


Becky said...

Ok guys, so I know you're new parents, and you won't do this for a while, but may I suggest the Parents Choice brand of formula??? It is SOOO much cheaper, and my daughter actually did better on it. I wouldn't make the switch for a long time, because I was all about having the best for my baby, but I sure was glad when I gave in. Just a thought!!!

Jen and Kara said...

I haven't posted here before...but I follow your blog. (Actually, even before I found your blog, I was trying to convince my partner that Kensington was an awesome name for a little girl.) Anyway, I just had to comment on this post. It is hilarious...but I'm wondering...since you have no time to even brush your in the world did you find time to do all of this research and math!?!

It's Daddies. Plural. said...

I'm like Rainman... I run numbers in my sleep. But wait, I don't sleep anymore (Ambien CR's stock just went WAY WAY down - sorry guys!)

If you haven't been able to tell by previous post, I'm a little OCD, so I'm running numbers at those 2:30am feedings. I should have been an accountant :)

dana said...

This post made me laugh and put a smile on my face. So happy to check in on your adventures.

Shazanne said...

I did see Kensington's Obamicon - in fact she was my inspiration! I've updated our page to say so :-)

Zanne and I love your blog! We love reading your Kensington updates. Congratulations to you both, your daughter is beautiful!


Kori said...

I don't know if you are aware, but some adoption costs are tax deductible. If you've already filed, you can still get the deductions, just file an adjusted return.