Wednesday, January 14, 2009

We're stopping the subscriptions...

Today it has HONESTLY taken me 5 1/2 hours to get through one 30 minute segment of NBC Nightly news - from December 24th. At this rate, it will take us 116 hours just to catch up to day!
I finally had the chance to log into the news section of Yahoo: Who knew Israeli troops invaded Gaza recently? What's up Blagojevich? Michigan has weather in the -20 degrees - Yikes! Patrick Swayze and Howie Mandel were rushed to the hospital, and there's a new season of American Idol with a forth judge. WHAT?!??! Where has the time gone?


Chris and I have two Tivo units. One for down stairs that can 'record two shows/watch one show' at once, and an additional 'record one show/watch one show' upstairs. We haven't turned on the TV except to play our Baby Einstein DVD's. Bye, Bye Tivo.

HBO, Showtime and Cinemax... Love you Tudors, Big Love, True Blood, Entourage, and Dexter - but bye, bye.

Netflix: Um... hate to tell you this, but it just isn't meant to be. While I'd love to catch up on all 8 seasons of Little House on The Prairie, we have this mansion on a mountain to take care of first.

Magazines...

Advocate/Out: We love you. But unless you're going to start showing off stylish gay-fashion with built-in burp cloths, you got to go.

Newsweek: If the world is coming to an end, shoot me a text message on my blackberry, if not, see ya later.

Time: Who has time... really? We have a feeding schedule every 2 hours.

SmartMoney: Yeah, a lot of good you've been to us. What's that you say... "invest"? Whatever!Bye, bye. It's now called: College fund. We just saved $19.95 a year (that we can reinvest) and you don't have to clog up our mailbox 12 times a year.

O: Seriously Oprah. We can't keep up with you. One minute you're pushing one diet and the next minute you're crying to us all that you fell of the wagon (again)... but wait... here's a new diet (again). Girl, we ain't got the time to read about something you're going to say doesn't work in 3 months. We got a child to take care of. And don't even think of telling us to have fresh flowers delivered to her room on a weekly basis because it sooths ones soul. There's snow on the ground and it's -20 degrees in Michigan. Tell me where flowers grow in the ice?

Domino: Stop trying to tell me how to tidy my home in less than 5 minutes. I don't see a pack-n-play, bassinet, baby papasan, toys, changing pads and swaddles in any of your make-over homes. Get real. Unless you're going to show me how to make over a nursery for the holidays for under $20, or create a stylish diaper bag out of worn out binkies, go organize someone else's home.

Bon Appetit: It just doesn't make sense. You want me to spend hours in the kitchen slaving over the stove, to then put everything in a blender to liquefy it to then add to a bottle? Not going to happen.

Sports Illustrated: I've told you time and time again, you have the wrong household! I don't care if the Eagles make it into the world series. Please take me off of your mailing list once and for all. (BTW - I really do know the Eagles are a football team - - smile)

The National Enquirer: While I honestly do care about Brittany's kids and K'feds new fashion line, I got to put you on hold for about 12-18 years. But I'll be back... don't you worry.

Parenting, Parents, American Baby, Family Fun and Creative Keepsakes: You're in. We just can't part with you. We think we've made enough sacrifices that you get to stay :)

6 comments:

welcome2ourworld said...

I just love your writing. Makes me smile even at 7.34 am :D Greetings, Jen

Anonymous said...

welcome to parenthood!!!! And take it from me it doesn't end at eighteen. oh sure at 16 they say "I'm leaving as soon as I graduate"!!!!! Take this advice from your sister, GET IT IN WRITING. LOL
Auntie Simone

Stefanie Diamond said...

So here is why I'm loving the blog. Yes I love to see baby Kensington, and read about the trials and tribs of first time parents. BUT you are the only man (or men) I've heard who have validated the plight of a mom. With #3 on the way (and the others ages 5 and 3) I hear ya, and I'm glad you hear me! Now if only my husband would change a diaper.... :) Until then (which is never) I'll get my 'this is hard work' validation here! thanks guys!

Kat said...

Way to save some money for those diapers!

dana said...

Wait. You forgot WonderTime. I think you need to invest in that one. Same people who publish Family Fun - but more Kensington's age group.

We are just coming out of the post-baby fog. I am excited to catch up on your adventures!

GayDad said...

Don't worry, you'll find a little time in a few months! I hadn't thought about it till you mentioned it, but in the beginning last year, I became totally out of touch with the news too. I almost cancelled the newspaper because I was just picking it up every day and tossing it straight into the recycle bin. Same with magazines. And I also recall the weeks where it took me three different sessions on different days to watch one episode of Desperate Housewives, fast forwarding through the commercials.

Post baby fog - I like that! That was my Summer of '07!